She said when I married her that she wasn't a shoe girl. I found out later that means; unless there's a great sale at Dillard's happening!

Seriously, I've never quite seen a mass of humanity quite like the one I saw at Dillard's on New Year's Day "shopping," and I use that term loosely, at their annual half price clearance sale thingy.

So I dropped the wife off at the Central Mall South entrance, you know, the one located directly across from the inside-the-mall Dillard's doors. Judging from the amount of cars in the parking lot this was going to be a really big deal. I found a place to park and made it just in time to see the doors open and the flood of bargain hunters flow into the store.

There's really no way to describe this scene other than to show you a few pics along the way.

Dillard's Sale Humanity 1
Dillard's Sale Humanity 2

I thought my wife said the shoe department was just inside the doors on the right, and while that shoe department location was accurate, that's not exactly what she said. She says she said that the shoes she wanted were located right inside the doors. Being a man that's not exactly what I heard of course. So when I walked in the main doors, I quickly noted the shoe department was in fact on the right, so I joined the flow of traffic moving in that general direction... mouth agape in utter amazement.

The shoe department, the whole store for that matter, was completely engulfed in women, all shapes, heights, ages and hair colors. Mind you I was looking for my red head in a swirling sea of different shades of red. I thought to myself "I need to look slightly lower than the hair, what color top was she wearing? Oh yeah, kind of a beige'ish sweater. So Now I'm looking for a red head wearing a beige top, nothing to it, I'm tall, this should be no problem.

Dillard's Sale Humanity 3
Dillard's Sale Humanity 4

Forty five minutes later, I found her, on the opposite side of the doors I came in. Remember she said the shoes were just inside the doors, she said nothing about the shoe department or being on the right side of the doors like I thought I heard.

Shortly after the reunion, this picture was snapped.

Jim Peeping Over Boxes

I wasn't the only husband dragged to this crazy scene, we all made brief eye contact and smiled or laughed at each individual's package bundle. Wait, that didn't sound right, oh you know what I mean!

Some folks must have thought I had lost my mind when at one point I came to the sudden realization, after peeking over the tops of the boxes, that I was following the wrong red head! YIKES! People look at you funny when start laughing at yourself . . .loudly.

Two and half hours later it was over, not the sale itself, just our part in it. At the end of the day my wife saved a bunch-o-money on shoes that she needed and a couple of blouses, too. I had back problems and a lighter wallet but it was fun I guess. Wish we would have had more time to go search at Dillard's Men's store for a bargain or two. We'll have to rework our plan of attack next time.

Yeah I know, more points just got shaved from my man-card! Did I tell you about my latest pedicure?