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Today in Kim Kardashian’s Womb: No TV Show, No Gender Surprises + No Morning Sickness [VIDEO]

After Kanye West‘s surprise (but not really) announcement that Kim Kardashian is pregnant, publicity — which had mercifully been relatively scant for the useless tart for a while — went into full force.

Now we know a few more useless pieces of information about the attentionwhore spawn that we didn’t before 2013.

For one, Kimye don’t want any surprises regarding the sex of their baby. (Of course, this can be part of Kris Jenner‘s master plan — the more you know, the better you can market, exploit and whore out your kid.)

Kim is roughly 12 weeks along, which means in about a month, she’ll be able to learn her kid’s gender. And she and Kanye plan to do just that.

TMZ reports that the pair don’t have a preference for the sex of the baby, as long as it’s healthy. Remember: They don’t see in pink and blue, they see in green and gold.

In other unendingly intriguing revelations, Kardashian said she hasn’t been dry-heaving as much as we have since the news hit. “I wouldn’t say it has been easy but no morning sickness,” she told ‘Entertainment Tonight.’ “It is not as easy as people think.”

One thing K.K.’s had difficulty with? Her cravings, which include raw fish. E! Online notes that while she really wants sushi, she assures, “I know I can’t really have it, so I’m eating a lot of carrots and celery with lots of ranch.” Cool story, bro.

Perhaps the most relieving and fascinating tidbit about the spawn of two such outsized, spotlight-starved egos? The product of Kimye will never see a television show.

TMZ says that West and his ‘Perfect Bitch’ want to keep part of their lives separate from her family’s show to “ensure real privacy” for the baby. Sources told the tab that the Kimye Kid won’t be on ‘KUWTK’ — and unlike Kim’s made-for-TV wedding to current husband Kris Humphries, there will be no televised specials about the birth of the hellspawn.

And with that, the media and the gods (and probably Beyonce and Jay-Z) all heaved a massive sigh of relief.

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